- Gabrielle Blair is a New York Times bestselling author.
- The following is an excerpt adapted from his book “Ejaculate Responsibly.”
- He said men can walk away from unwanted pregnancy that is the result of irresponsible ejaculation.
This is an excerpt adapted from Gabrielle Blair’s book “Responsible Ejaculation: A New Way to Think About Abortion.”
If a man ejaculates irresponsibly and causes an unwanted pregnancy, he faces zero consequences. He could walk away at any moment, and our culture doesn’t have that many of them today – or what? – to discourage it.
It’s all about women
If the woman wants to take Plan B to prevent pregnancy, the woman must take it and pay for it – from her own funds, or by asking someone else for money.
If a woman decides to have an abortion, the man will never know that he caused an unwanted pregnancy through irresponsible ejaculation – and it remains for the woman to arrange and pay for it (again, from her own funds, or by asking for money from others – and that’s assuming he can get himself to a state where it’s legal).
If a woman decides to raise a baby but does not tell the man, or relinquishes the baby for adoption, he may never know that there is now a child walking around with 50% of his DNA.
If the woman tells the man that she caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she has a baby, the closest thing to a consequence for her is that she has to pay child support. But our current child support system is known to be a joke.
Men are responsible for almost all child support
Men make up 85% of child support providers, and only 43.5% of parents report receiving the full amount of child support due. And an estimated $10 billion in child support payments go unpaid each year. In cases where men will not pay child support, theoretically, women have legal recourse and can force men to pay child support, but, again, the system makes it very difficult. It is up to the mother to pay to prove paternity, pay for a lawyer, and fight for child support in court.
Keep in mind these court battles are unreasonably hard to manage for someone who only has a baby – a baby whom they are trying to feed and care for. And finally, even if she put in time and paid years of legal fees, most women never collect all the money anyway. If he manages to collect, the average child support order is $400 a month, which is obviously not close to what it takes to house and clothe and feed and educate the children – to say nothing of the temporal, emotional, and physical costs. from child rearing.
Our society is organized to protect men from the consequences of their own actions. Our laws and policies could not be better designed to protect men who abandon induced pregnancies.
I had a conversation with a long-time social worker about this, and he listed eight ways that men face no consequences and are not responsible for all their ejaculatory actions.
1) There is no law that requires a father to pay child support without a court order. It is not automatic.
2) In many states, credit scores are not affected by failure to pay child support.
3) Fathers are not fired from their jobs for cheating on women.
4) Fathers are not billed for medical expenses for pregnancy or children. In at least two states, the father may be legally required to pay at least 50% of the medical costs related to the pregnancy.
5) Fathers should not take weeks or months of unpaid leave for pregnancy or childbirth complications.
6) Fathers don’t lose a penny of their wages for cheating on women.
7) Fathers generally do not have to pay funeral expenses for their dead children. At least two states consider it the responsibility of both parents to pay.
8) If the father chooses to walk out at any point – before or after the child is born – there are no societal consequences for abandoning the child.
There are little or no repercussions for skipping out. So, many men go on, causing unwanted pregnancy with irresponsible ejaculation and never think about it. When the topic of abortion comes up, they think: Abortion makes me uncomfortable. Women should not choose abortion. And they never consider the man who caused the unwanted pregnancy.
Excerpted from “Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion” by Gabrielle Blair. Workman Publishing © 2022.